A Five of Swords Funeral

and finishing a Saturn return

It is not surprising I’d be at a funeral at the end of my Saturn return.

My Tío Luis, a Saturn in Pisces, passed away at 86, and I was honored to be a pallbearer, honored to be chosen to help return him to the Earth.

I remember my Tío, a stout brown man with a thick accent and a thicker mustache, as peaceful, patient and smiling. He met my Tia and 3 months later they were married. And married for 51 years till death did they part. My Tía, like me, is a scorpio and my Tío had Venus in scorpio, also like me. Compadres to my grandparents, this quartet inspires me. They found love after loss, and were truly devoted to each other. Growing up, I always felt at peace around them. I never questioned their love, or wondered why they were still together, like I did with my parents.

I’m grateful for the time spent with my Tío and Tía, because they gave me appreciation for a porch kinda people. Anytime they would watch me, it was like the clock adjusted and ennui was ever-present. Time was slower, there was less to do, nothing was vying for my attention and I was so often bored, just waiting to be picked up, waiting for something, anything, on the horizon that would stir this ever-peaceful, simple and still home of theirs. So often, after I exhausted my imagination inspired by the observation of every detail of their home, all I could do was sit and wait. And everything settled. Saturn has taught me nothing if not patience, perseverance, and an ability to shift my focus while the time passes, so that I don’t sit in distress. I wait and I wait, and an appreciation for the mundane, non-glorious and peaceful develops.

The morning of his funeral I pulled the Five of Swords:

(from the Uusi Pagan Otherworlds Tarot)

---

It shows two swords of the five swords fixed in the earth and the rest hovering ominously. And three swords did hang in the air as the sound of three weeping women in black. Prominent among the many bereaved are his wife, my Tía; her sister, my grandmother, who has been a widow for seven years; and my Tío’s sister. This card falls under the domain of Venus, and the rupture of relationality couldn’t be more apparent than burying your beloved.

Still, the funeral felt celebratory to me. I guess death has always comforted me, but the many rituals of his burial were orchestrated beautifully. To actually be able to participate in the ceremonies, rites and rituals, I was offered some closure to my Saturn return. These have been some of the most devastating and confronting years of my life. It’s hard, while waiting for the Sun to rise over the horizon, to maintain a sense of scope. But death puts everything in proper perspective.

Above the two swords in the ground, the three swords in the air, were the wings of release. My morning spread mapped my emotional, spiritual landscape that day, for I was able to touch the wings of a white dove, along with the other pallbearers and the bereaved in black, and watch it set out in the open sky and soon joined by its flock.

(from the Uusi Supra Oracle deck)

---

Saturn’s ingress to pisces, squares my natal Mars in the 8th house, the house of death. Tense aspects between malefic planets don’t scare me. I am malefic. Death isn’t inherently a bad thing, but that doesn’t mean its not painful or challenging.

Tears of grief make every grave a garden.

May many white and red roses bloom over your patch of earth Tío.

P.S. while there are many photos of my Tío, I was captured by dark handsome beauty above. Clearly it runs in the family.

---